"As if by magic, the Shopkeeper appeared..."

ICP has finally found a job that he seems to enjoy. Today he went to a marketing conference in Albany. He wore his three piece suit. I asked him if he had an umbrella, since it was raining hard.

He said of course he did. He's English.

I told him he should wear his bowler hat.

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This is Mr. Benn.

Mr. Benn is a kid's book from England. ICP used to tell me all about Mr. Benn, and I thought he was mad. It's about an ordinary bloke who visits a Fancy Dress Shop, run by a fez-wearing Shopkeeper.

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When Mr. Benn puts on a costume, he is transported to some far away land where everything turns out right, and Mr. Benn is the hero.

My favorite story was the time when Mr. Benn puts on medieval armour, and he goes off to save the friendly dragon wrongfully accused of setting fires by an evil match salesman.

Each time, Mr. Benn steps into a costume, he solves the problem and saves someone from nasty things. Then, when everything is done, when the world is good, the story ends with the catchphrase...


"As if by magic, the Shopkeeper appeared..."


The Shopkeeper, Mr. Costumepashazade, steps into the fantasy land and takes Mr. Benn home.

No one gets hurt. The world is good.

English children play with Mr. Benn Beanie Babies.

Mr. Benn can be ordinary by day, save the world from match salesmen and make the world safe for dragons once again. Mr. Benn can do whatever crazy thing comes to mind and it's all cool. Mr. Benn cavorts with big husky fez-wearing shop keepers, and no one bats an eyelash.

I have often wanted to run away and join the circus. I have changed my mind.

I would like be Mr. Benn, only with clowns.

I want to run away and join the circus. I want to be clown, or be a mime. I'd protect midgets from evil, and tour with Siegfried and Roy impersonators. Then, when it was all over, I'd go back to my real world.

Then again, maybe instead of joining the circus, I would simply like to be able to escape from Binghamton for an afternoon. I'd eventually come back, escorted by a modern day Ottoman administrator, and have the world sorted out for me.

But most of all, I would like to hear the phrase...

"As if by magic, the dissertation text appeared..."

It works for Mr. Benn, but not for Bashir's Momma.

***

Halloween is coming up. I can't decide if I will be a circus clown, a mime, or a big husky fez-wearing shopkeeper.

I do own a fez. I do have the mime shirt. I do own clown pants.

Perhaps I will simply borrow ICP's bowler hat.